Calories Don't Count: The Birthday Ride

Somebody’s having a birthday, and their idea of a celebration is dragging everyone else on a bike ride to three different ice cream shops. That’s the entire premise of Calories Don’t Count, and it’s a good one — an easy, short-mileage roll between Kulfi, Sweet and Salty, and Jade Cow Creamery that treats calorie counting as the enemy for one night.

Nobody’s racing between stops. This is a slow-roll social ride where the point is showing up, eating ice cream, and riding just far enough to justify the next scoop. It’s exactly the kind of low-stakes, whimsical ride that keeps Portland’s cycling scene feeling like a community instead of a training log.

Come hungry, bring cash for three separate purchases, and don’t plan anything ambitious for the rest of the evening.